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a flat tire, dead battery, need a tow or lock your keys in the car, geico's emergency roadside assistance is there 24/7. oh dear, i got a flat tire. hmmm. uh... yeah, can you find a take where it's a bit more dramatic on that last line, yeah? yeah i got it right here. someone help me!!! i have a flat tire!!! well it's good... good for me. what do you think? geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jessica simpson. comedian jim jefferies. and music from luke bryan. brought to you by the incredible egg. with cleto and the cletones. and now, mark my words, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hey, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thanks for being here tonight. as many of you at home i know are watching from underneath an enormous pile of snow right now. winter storm saturn has been piling on the midwest and the east coast. if you are in to the blizzard, please allow me to be your big, fat, hairy human snuggy. i'm very, very warm. most people have an average body tempera
of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> line forming outside of the u.s. supreme court ahead of the hearing on same-sex marriage. bem began camping out yesterday hoping to get a seat to watch the proceedings. the supreme court takes up the debate over same-sex marriage. a big part of it will be centered on children. >> what is best for children has been a central theme for a leading opponent of gay marriage. >> he says marriage has always been between a man and woman. and to go against that would be bad for children. >> saying it's not as good for children. >> only a man and woman can unite body that's it can produce new life he said it's just common sense a man and woman would provide a better environment than two mothers or two fathers. i asked if he would oppose gay couple that's want to have had children. >> not saying it should be illegal that have but we should not enshrine in the law of principle a child does not deserve a mother and a father. >> this week the leadi
: hey jimmy, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? jimmy: happier than paul revere with a cell phone. ronny: why not? anncr: get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. ♪ [ male announcer ] help brazil reduce its overall reliance on foreign imports with the launch of the country's largest petrochemical operation. ♪ when emerson takes up the challenge, "it's never been done before" simply bemes consider it solved. emerson. ♪ at a hertz expressrent kiosk, you can rent a car without a reservation... and without a line. now that's a fast car. it's just another way you'll be traveling at the speed of hertz. >>> washington, the pig story here is the vie produce bail-out. they are safe from bankruptcy, but at what cost? those with bank accounts will looking for government seizures above 40%. it's called bail-in. a leader stepped down. did iraq knowingly allow iranians to use the air space? 400,000 to study duck junk. there are bizarre expenditures that you are covering. don't miss a moment of the what to cut series? will
investing. risk includes possible loss of principal. for over 75 years people ...with geico... ohhh...sorry!. director's voice: here we go. from the top. and action for over 75 years people have saved money with gecko so.... director's voice: cut it! ...what...what did i say? gecko? i said gecko? aw... for over 75 year...(laughs. but still trying to keep it contained) director's voice: keep it together. i'm good. i'm good. for over 75...(uncontrollable lahtuger). what are you doing there? stop making me laugh. vo: geico. saving people money for over seventy-five years. gecko: don't look at me. don't look at me. we don't let frequent heartburn come between us and what we love. so if you're one of them people who gets heartburn and then treats day after day... block the acid with prilosec otc and don't get heartburn in the first place! [ male announcer ] one pill each morning. 24 hours. zero heartburn. and don't get heartburn in the first place! ♪ a flavor paradisens aof delicious fishes ♪♪ ♪ friskies seafood sensations. ♪ ♪ feed the senses. >>> today was a big day in repu
to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. if you have high cholesterol, here's some information that may be worth looking into. in a clinical trial versus lipitor, crestor got more high-risk patients' bad cholesterol to a goal of under 100. getting to goal is important, especially if you have high cholesterol plus any of these risk factors because you could be at increased risk for plaque buildup in your arteries over time. and that's why when diet and exercise alone aren't enough to lower cholesterol i prescribe crestor. [ female announr ] crestor is not right for everyone. like people with liver disease or women who are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant. tell your doctor about other medicines you're taking. call your doctor right away if you have muscle pain or weakness, feel unusually tired, have loss of appetite, upper belly pain, dark urine or yellowing of skin or eyes. these could be signs of rare but serious side effects. is your cholesterol at goal? ask your doctor about crestor. [
will talk about that next. ♪ ♪ what's this? uhh, it's my geico insurance id card, sir. it's digital, uh, pretty cool right? maybe. you know why i pulled you over today? because i'm a pig driving a convertible? tail light's out.. fix it. digital insurance id cards. just a click away with the geico mobile app. [ male announcer ] you've reached the age where you don't back down from a challenge. this is the age of knowing how to make things happen. sowhy let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. 20 million men already have. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. ♪ ♪ >> eric: late ni
in the car, geico's emergency roadside assistance is there 24/7. oh dear, i got a flat tire. hmmm. uh... yeah, can you find a take where it's a bit more dramatic on that last line, yeah? yeah i got it right here. someone help me!!! i have a flat tire!!! well it's good... good for me. what do you think? geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. [ all kids ] twooooo! [ moderator ] you sure? i am absolutely positive! [ little boy ] two times is awesome. the thing i can do is wave my head and wave my... that's amazing. i've never seen anything like that. look i can do -- hold on -- i'm watching this. i'm getting dizzy... [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. doing two things at once is better. and only at&t's network lets you talk and surf on your iphone 5. ♪ >>> all right. around the world to england now. a story of a powerful and ultrawealthy russian businessmen. boris berezovsky. >> he was forced into exile in england after getting on russian president vladimir putin's bad side, on his last nerve. his death this weekend in london is raising a lot of q
are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. a regular guy with an irregular heartbeat. the usual, bob? not today. [ male announcer ] bob has afib: atrial fibrillation not caused by a heart valve problem, a condition that puts him at greater risk for a stroke. [ gps ] turn left. i don't think so. [ male announcer ] for years, bob took warfarin, and made a monthly trip to the clinic to get his blood tested. but not anymore. bob's doctor recommended a different option: once-a-day xarelto®. xarelto® is the first and only once-a-day prescription blood thinner for patients with afib not caused by a heart valve problem, that doesn't require routine blood monitoring. like warfarin, xarelto® is proven effective to reduce the risk of an afib-related stroke. there is limited data on how these drugs compare when warfarin is well managed. no routine blood monitoring means bob can spend his extra time however he likes. new zealand! xarelto® is just one pill a day,
's time for marriage. license and registration please. what's this? uhh, it's my geico insurance id card, sir. it's digital, uh, pretty cool right? maybe. you know why i pulled you over today? because i'm a pig driving a convertible? tail light's out.. fix it. digital insurance id cards. just a click away with the geico mobile app. we don't let frequent heartburn come between us and what we love. so if you're one of them people who gets heartburn and then treats day after day... block the acid with prilosec otc and don't get heartburn in the first place! [ male announcer ] one pill each morning. 24 hours. zero heartburn. if you have high cholesterol, here's some information that may be worth looking into. in a clinical trial versus lipitor, crestor got more high-risk patients' bad cholesterol to a goal of under 100. getting to goal is important, especially if you have high cholesterol plus any of these risk factors because you could be at increased risk for plaque buildup in your arteries over time. and that's why when diet and exercise alone aren't enough to lower cholesterol i prescrib
ha ha! ha ha ha! jimmy how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> moments from now in chicago, a funeral is to be held for a 6-month-old girl. she was in her father's lap when she was shot as they sat in a parked minivan. her dad was also shot. he was changing her diaper at the time. he survived the attack. police believe he was the target of the attack and not the baby. thank you for watching, everyone. it's good to have you with us. we're flat out of time. "around the world" is next.
ha ha! jimmy how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. [ male announcer ] were you more interesting in your twenties, or now? when you were starting out? or after a few decades working in some well-worn character? experience makes you wiser for the wear. and now come the richer possibilities. [ children laughing ] aarp. an ally for real possibilities. find tools and resources at aarp.org/possibilities. >>> talking about a lasting peace is one thing. making it happen for israel and the palestinians is another. can the president do what others have not? we have alan desk wit, attorney and author and president of the arab-american institute and author of "arab voices." start with you, alan desk wit, will israel and arab nations ever live in peace? yes, 32%. no, 66%. very depressing. what is a way through this? are you remotely optimistic? >> i am very optimistic. it depends what you mean by peace. will there ever be a loving peace l
!? ronny: hey jimmy, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? jimmy: happier than paul revere with a cell phone. ronny: why not? anncr: get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. u >>> talking about a lasting peace is one thing. making it happen with the palestinians is another. can the president do what others have not. we have allen dush wits, attorney and author and president of the arab american institute and author of "arab voices." start with you, allen der shallwits. will israel and arab nations ever live in peace? yes, 32%. no, 66%. very depressing. what is a way through this? are you remotely optimistic? >> i am very optimistic. it depends what you mean by peace. will there ever be a loving peace like between the united states and canada, unlikely. but will there be an end of war the way there is with egypt and the way there is with jordan and perhaps realistically with some other surrounding countries, yes. the key is to start the negotiations now. i agree completely with senator george mitchell. what president abba
jimmy, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? jimmy: happier than paul revere with a cell phone. ronny: why not? anncr: get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. might not get you off your couch, but there's not a creature on earth that can resist this. believe i'm just glitz and glam when i'm so much more. i'm downtown and ocean front. my nights are just as busy as my days. the arts are my passion. food my obsession. and when you finally think you know me. you'll realize, there's still so much more to discover. los angeles. endlessly entertaining. plan your getaway at discoverlosangeles.com >>> politicians would respond quickly if people would just rise up and say, damn it, this is not the america i'm going to live it. this is too great a country to let that happen again i'm not going to let this happen again, and i'm not going to come on a damntv show either after the next shooting, piers. i haven't done it for ten years. to be nice to you and you're a good guy, made a good tape for me to come on, but i'm stick of it
hundreds of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >> a verdict in a case we brought you earlier in kelly's court. a case in a grandma killing her grandson has been found guilty of second degree murder. convicting sandra lane during the the first full day of deliberations. they did not buy her claim that she shot her teenage grandson six times in self-defense. that grandson jonathan hoffman implicating his grandmother before he died. and this boy's parents reacted to the verdict. >> it's a final vindication for my son to restore his good name and reputation. >>longer call her mother and-- >> i would prefer to call her a monster. >> megyn: and ms. lane faces at least 14 years in prison. and kelly's court for today is back in session. on the docket today, the cookie mom, cookie monster. a single mother is fired for trying to help her daughter sell girl scout cookies on the job. she brought samoas and tag-alongs, to the eagle's nest convenience store on campus and told them sold t
honor. ♪ ♪ geico motorcycle. see how much you could save. great first gig! let's go! party! awwwww... arigato! we are outta here! party...... finding you the perfect place, every step of the way. hotels.com earning loads of points. we'll leave that there. you got a weather balloon, with points? yes i did. [ man ] points i could use for just about anything. go. ♪ keep on going in this direction. take this bridge over here. there it i [ man ] so i used mineo get a whole new perspective. [ laughter ] [ male announcer ] earn points with the citi thankyou card and redeem them for just about anything. visit citi.com/thankyoucards to apply. many cereals say they're good for your heart, but did you know ere's a cereal that's recommendedy doctors? it's post shredded wheat. recommended by nine out of ten doctors to help reduce the risk of heart dease. post shredded wheat is made with only one ingredient: one hundred percent whole grain wheat, with no added sugar or salt. try adding fruit for more health benefits and more taste in your bowl. it's the ideal way to start your heart healthy da
cleaning a whole new meaning. geico motorcycle. see how much you could save. >> president obama urging israelis and palestinians to return to the negotiation table and today the president telling israel it must reverse what he calls an undertow of isolation and rush limbaugh says that's not way for president obama to win over the israeli people. >> my initial, i mean, i have to call it a knee jerk until i have a chance to study this, sounded to me like obama was ripping israel to shreds and blaming them for everything going wrong and i may have misheard it it, but i know that obama has taken his offensive charm -- sorry, charm offensive to israel, where depending on what you read, it seems to be bombing. >> greta: we're back with former speaker of the house, newt gingrich. mr. speaker, your thoughts about the president's trip to israel? >> well, i think this is a president who has made shallowness an art form. he drifts across the land, pleasant, nothing changes, and he leaves. he couldn't even contain himself long enough to get out of israel. the fact is that there is no undertow of i
. ♪♪ geico motorcycle. see how much you could save. dad: you excited for youyeah.st day? ♪ dad: you'll be fine, ok? girl: ok. dad: you look so pretty. ♪ i'm overprotective. that's why i got a subaru. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. [ chainsaw buzzing ] humans. sometimes, life trips us up. sometimes, we trip ourselves up. and although the mistakes may seem to just keep coming at you, so do the solutions. like multi-policy discounts from liberty mutual insurance. save up to 10% just for combining your auto and home insurance. call liberty mutual insurance at... to speak with an insurance expert and ask about all the personalized savings available for when you get married, move into a new house, or add a car to your policy. personalized coverage and savings -- all the things humans need to make our world a little less imperfect. call... and ask about all the ways you could save. liberty mutual insurance -- responsibility. what's your policy? >>> i don't feel what i've done is a crime, and i think it's illogical and irresponsible for you to sentence me to prison. because whe
. chances are, you're not made of money, so don't overpay for motorcycle insurance. geico, see how much you could save. i really like your new jetta! and you want to buy one like mine because it's so safe, right? yeah... yeah... i know what you've heard -- iihs top safety pick for $159 a month -- but, i wish it was more dangerous, like a monster truck or dune buggy! you can't have the same car as me! [ male announcer ] now everyone's going to want one. let's get a jetta. [ male announcer ] volkswagen springtoberfest is here and there's no better time to get a jetta. that's the power of german engineering. right now lease one of four volkswagen models for under $200 a month. visit vwdealer.com today. ♪ 'cause germs don't stick on me ♪ [ female announcer ] band-aid brand has quiltvent technology with air channels to let boo boos breathe. [ giggles ] [ female announcer ] quiltvent technology, only from band-aid brand. use with neosporin first aid antibiotic. >>> as many as 200,000 people packed in st. peter's square for today's installation mass for pope francis. the theme of his homily wa
there. >> oh, my goodness. calling geico there. you have a 9-year-old you fall right in here. >> i am lucky. she is a good kid. i can literally say cut it out and she would cut it out. she doesn't do anything. so famous last word. going to get today something is going to happen. so far so good. >> we'll be right ba ♪ ♪ ♪ if loving you is wrong ♪ ♪ i don't wanna be right ♪ [ record scratch ] what?! it's not bad for you. it just tastes that way. [ female announcer ] honey nut cheerios cereal -- heart-healthy, whole grain oats. you can't go wrong loving it. bee happy. bee healthy. [ female announcer ] try new honey nut cheerios medley crunch, with clusts of flakes and o's. oh, ho ho... it's the honey sweetness. i...i mean, you...love. ♪ don't los >>> smartphones can do just about anything except maybe feel. that could change one day. >> scientists at cambridge say they designed a virtual talking head that can express a range of human emotions. >> hi, my name is zoe i am a talking head created by cambridge scientists and you may be seeing and he
! ha ha ha! ha ha ha! jimmy how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. a brand new start. your chance to rise and shine. with centurylink as your trusted technology partner, you can do just that. with our visionary cloud infrastructure, global broadband network and custom communications solutions, your business is more reliable - secure - agile. and with responsive, dedicated support, we help you shine every day of the week. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] nothing gets you going quite like the power of quaker oats. today is going to be epic. quaker up. ...and we inspected his brakes for free. -free is good. -free is very good. [ male announcer ] now get 50% off brake pads and shoes at meineke. >>> 11 past the hour. time to check our top stories. the storm system making the first week of spring feel an awful lot like winter. it's dumping about 7 inches from st. louis to pittsburgh. some areas could be buried under a foot. much
save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? happier than dikembe mutumbo blocking a shot. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. ♪ >>> welcome back to "morning joe." 49 past the hour. >> is that one of sting's favorite songs? when it came out, i really wasn't sure, man. but this is great sting song. >> in "the washington post" standing with ram nervously. for the moment i'm standing with rand on one leg only. his isolationist foreign policy and clan to eliminate federal deficits in five years makes it imprudent to jump in with both feet. consider on tuesday paul endorsed a version of immigration reform that would allow the 11 million or so undocumented immigrants in this country to become legal. the week before he defied the hawks in his party to lead a 13-hour filibuster in protest of the obama admission's secretory over its drone war fare program. >> dan senor, you've been involved in republican presidential primaries lately. sorry about that. how would those issues stack up in new hampshire and iowa and south carolina and florida? >> i thi
Search Results 0 to 22 of about 23 (some duplicates have been removed)

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